In this blog post I would like to highlight the possibility of organizing a women's circle to care for a new mom. Rituals to celebrate and support new mothers used to be standard practice but have more or less disappeared over time. Fortunately these rituals are on a return! When women join in a circle they connect. And connection is exactly what new mothers need, opposite to loneliness or feeling cut-off.
Mother centered instead of baby centered
A lot of today's traditions after childbirth are focused on the baby. In most cases however, the baby is getting already all their needs fulfilled by their parent(s). While at the same time mothers also have undergone a huge transition, and are recovering from pregnancy and childbirth. Is there not a much bigger need to hold the mother, instead of the baby?
A postnatal women’s circle is therefore not just about celebrating the new life but more about honoring the new mother for what she has gone through and is going through. Seeing her, holding her, and supporting her.
A postnatal circle can help the mother to feel that she is part of a community of women who are there for her and who love her.
Rebozo massage and closing ceremony
A post-partum massage & closing ritual can be a beautiful part of the postnatal circle. With some explanation and guidance it is very well possible to give this type of massage to a mother together as small group of close friends. Or, as was traditionally often the case with close relatives like the mother and sister(s) of the new mother.
The rebozo massage can consist of two parts. In the first part the mother is gently rocked with the use of 'rebozos' (these are long shawls). The shawls give the mother a sensation of being supported and held. The gentle rocking can help her relax. Just like babies like to be gently rocked, also for grown ups this has a calming effect.
In the second part of the treatment, the mother is wrapped from top to toe, body part by body part, in shawls. This again gives a sensation of being held and supported. Often post partum women really enjoy the pelvic area to be wrapping firmly. Not only does this feel really good physically, this can also help to release tension and certain emotions.
The setting can be very intimate. At the same time the mother will wear her clothes, and there does not have to be a lot of direct touch, as the shawls are used to give this treatment. Therefore this is a very suitable massage to give to a mother in a circle setting.
How beautiful if a new mother can literally be held by her close ones and can feel nurtured, taken care of, encouraged and carried into this new phase of motherhood!
What other elements can a postpartum circle contain?
The circle should be adapted to the mother's wishes and needs. The setting can be festive but also meditative, calm, conscious and spiritual. Don't make the gathering too long. The planned duration should definitely take into account how long after birth you are gathering in the circle. The first weeks after birth, mothers need loads of rest.
You can include time to have a tea or other drinks together and bring some good snacks. A home-made cake, raw date energy balls or cookies for example.
Of course it is nice to include a moment to admire the baby. But try to address most focus on the mother.
You can do a guided meditation together.
If the mother feels the desire and is ready to share her birth story, there can be made space for this. Listen to the mother in silence and with an open heart. Respect her experience.
Ask everyone to share something with the new mother. Wishing her the best in her motherhood journey and providing her with words of encouragement from your heart. Avoid to provide the mother with un-asked advice and also don't overload her with your own experiences. This is her journey.
A women's circle is an ideal place to sing. If you sing from your heart, it doesn't matter whether you have a strong singing voice or not. Reading a poem or playing an instrument can also be very suitable elements.
Since the circle is about nurturing the mother, it is always a good idea to bring home-made food for the mother, her partner and other children if any. If everyone brings a dish, make sure some of these are suitable to be frozen or eaten in the following days.
Need help to organize a circle?
NatalWisdom can help you host a post-partum women's circle including a closing massage with rebozos. I will bring everything needed for the massage, and can also bring some elements to prepare the space. Have a look here for further information, and feel free to contact me if you have any questions.
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